Psalm 152??

Recently, on his blog, the Vadney quoted a mysterious “Psalm 152”. As it happens, there are only 150 Psalms. The verses he quotes are obviously inauthentic, and the first reaction is to wonder where on earth he got this crap from. Crap it may be, but not bad enough to be an original Vadney creation.

O, Lord, how long must people from all nations suffer, because of
bigotry, prejudice, indifference, and greed.
Everyday [sic] we see the weak and the poor humiliated,
and the nations are at war.
We know you hear the cry of the poor,
and you listen to our prayers.
Come to our aid O, Lord less [sic]
we grow weary and faint of heart.
Our prayers and sacrifices rise up to you,
With each rising and setting of the sun.
We trust in you O, Lord,
that the wicked will receive retribution
and the virtuous their reward.
Praise to you Lord for your promises
and faithfulness.
We will always give you Praise
and Thanksgiving all the days of our life.

In fact, the above was taken from the site of a bunch of crackpots calling themselves the “St. Agnes Charismatic Prayer Group”, who have published a collection of 10 “psalms”, under the following rubric:

The ten psalms below represent a collection of psalms written by members of the St. Agnes Charismatic Prayer Group. They came about as a result of a study group given by the Diocesan Catholic Charismatic Renewal Office. They have been numbered 151 to 160 and are not to be confused with the Book of Psalms written several centuries ago.

Several centuries ago?! More like three millennia ago!! These people, despite their religious pretensions, know less about the Bible than the average village atheist. And if they want to avoid confusion with the Book of Psalms, why do they continue the numbering sequentially from where the Book of Psalms left off?

For his part, the Vadney does not bother acknowledging his source; so one can only assume he doesn’t even know this is not a genuine Psalm. or he is trying to deceive his readers into thinking it is one. I note in passing that while the Vadney has corrected the obvious blunder of “less” for “lest”, he has left the equally cretinous “Everyday” for “Every day” intact.

Hmmm. The “weak and poor humiliated”? Is the Vadney thinking of himself in quoting these verses? I must admit that “weak” is not really an adequate word to describe Vadney. Perhaps “impotent” would be closer to the mark. But we do know he has recently claimed to be “a poor person”. Still, if he feels “humiliated”, so much the better. He deserves to be humiliated with his lies and venom.

His parting remark is:

When all else seems vainglorious and the wicked work their mischief and seek victims, pray!

Well, one wonders what Vadney means by “vainglorious” here. Of course, everything the narcissistic little worm does is vainglorious, especially praying. And I happen to know that the Vadney, a “wicked” person if ever there was one, is actively seeking out victims: writing unctuous little emails to people seeking to either entrap them or recruit them as witnesses for his next masturbatory court case. Is the “prayer” meant for him or for his intended victims?

PS: How apt!

It has just been drawn to my attention that there are in fact five “Apocryphal Psalms of David”. Apparently, neither the charismatic loonies mentioned above nor the Vadney were aware of them either (but then I’m not a Christian: what’s their excuse?). [Content deleted due to factual query. I will rewrite this section when I get time to check the Apocryphal Psalms. None of this detracts from the fact that the Vadney tried to p(s)alm off a contemporary writing as a canonical, then an Apocryphal, Psalm.]

The real meaning of onanism

From Genesis 38:

[7] And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.
[8] And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
[9] And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
[10] And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

So it is quite clear that Onan penetrated his sister-in-law (that’s what “went in unto” means), but did not finish the job, preferring the time-honoured but rather ineffectual contraceptive technique of withdrawal, or “getting off at Redfern”, as we call it in Australia.

The Vadney is one of those self-professed Christians who apparently haven’t read or can’t understand the passge, and use “onanism” as a fancy word for masturbation. I love the way he censors the latter word but not the former. Nothing like consistency, is there?

And generations of depraved clergy have deliberately misinterpreted this passage to frighten the shit out of pubescent and adolescent boys who dare to masturbate. To make it worse, Catholics even condemn “wet dreams”.

PS: If you haven’t already seen it, check out my main anti-Vadney blog, and find out why I’m trying to stop him!

PPS: If you are not familiar with the Vadney’s blog, you may be wondering why I even mention onanism.... Well, early on, he accused me and my colleague, Scott Horne, of “Purest pedestrian onanism at its foulest” and “Mutual M...” (ellipsis in original). This from the same Vadney who is constantly berating me for vulgarity and obscenity.

Introduction: let the fun begin!

If you don’t know who the Vadney is, see my more serious blog. The short version is that the Vadney is a pseudo-professional translator who, for many years, claimed a lot of credentials he didn’t have. In August 2007, I exposed him as a fraud and a liar on the now-defunct (thanks to the Vadney’s lies) Network of Independent Linguists’ discussion forum. The Vadney was at the time engaged in a lunatic-fringe campaign to get himself elected Town Justice of New Baltimore (NY), after receiving a very encouraging 34 votes at the previous election, and a newspaper in the district picked up on the story. Ever since, the Vadney has been pursuing a hate campaign against me, a colleague, Mr Scott Horne, who also contributed to exposing the Vadney, and the journalist Scott Waldman, who wrote up the story in the Albany Times Union. (Doubtless the Vadney blames us for the fact that, despite his triumphal 34 votes in the 2005 election, he only managed 17 in 2007.) Also subject to the Vadney ire are two of his neighbours and the owner of another regional newspaper...don’t ask why: it’s a long story!

The Vadney often professes to be a devout Christian, despite his propensity to bearing false witness against his neighbour(s), defamation, fraud and perjury. So I have started this tongue-in-cheek blog for the Vadney’s spiritual guidance. Please contribute Biblical quotations that will help the Vadney find his way out of his current morass of iniquity and towards salvation!

Preferred version is King James; in any case, please quote book, chapter and verse, for ease of reference. If you want to show off by quoting the original tongues, that’s fine, but the King James translation would be appreciated in addition.

I will start with some suggestions from the main Vadney blog.

(From Proverbs 26):

11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

[...]

24 He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him;

25 When he speaketh fair, believe him not: for there are seven abominations in his heart.

26 Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be shewed before the whole congregation.

27 Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him.

(Proverbs 26:9, suggested by Scott Horne):

חוח עלה ביד־שכור ומשל בפי כסילים

As a thorn goeth up into the hand of a drunkard so is a parable in the mouth of fools.

(Matthew 6:5, also from Scott):

καὶ ὅταν προσεύχησθε, οὐκ ἔσεσθε ὡς οἱ ὑποκριταί· ὅτι φιλοῦσιν ἐν ταῖς συναγωγαῖς καὶ ἐν ταῖς γωνίαις τῶν πλατειῶν ἑστῶτες προσεύχεσθαι, ὅπως φανῶσιν τοῖς ἀνθρώποις· ἀμὴν λέγω ὑμῖν, ἀπέχουσι τὸν μισθὸν αὐτῶν.

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

And here’s a few that were sent in anonymously....

(From Proverbs 25):

2 It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.

[...]

8 Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, when thy neighbour hath put thee to shame.

9 Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another:

10 Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away.

11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pitchers of silver.

[...]

14 Whoso boasteth himself of a false gift is like clouds and wind without rain.

[...]

18 A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.

All additions to the list are welcomed. However, I shall have to moderate comments as the Vadney is known for making a pain of himself where he is not welcome.